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I bet you heard a lot about confidence boosting activities like learning body language, “fake it till you make it approach”, having plan B and plan C… But what about the true inner confidence that comes from within, and is not affected by external fluctuations? That’s the one we’re going to work on today. Because it’s the most trustworthy one!
So how can we improve confidence?
I’ll be brief with this intro cause I’m excited to get straight to the point!
There is nothing more powerful than inner confidence that everyone around can sense. It makes life so much easier!
That being said, the ultimate goal when working on your self-confidence should be sourcing your confidence from within.
In this post, we will work on boosting our inner confidence (rather than outer confidence).
We’ll look at what inner confidence is, what preparation steps we should take before jumping into the process, and what daily confidence building exercises to do to slowly build strong and resilient inner confidence.
I recommend following the action plan below in the order that I present it.
Good luck! 🙂
This post is all about confidence boosting activities that help you find it within.
👑 Inner confidence vs. Outer confidence
In my head, self-confidence looks something like this:
I call it The Self-Confidence Iceberg. Let’s take a closer look.
The part above the water is called outer confidence.
Outer confidence is the way you efficiently put yourself out there in the world.
It’s the body language, it’s the way you speak, look and move. It is usually a set of memorized tricks and techniques that let you get the desired.
But there is another side to this “confidence game”. It’s the underwater part of the iceberg — inner confidence.
Inner confidence is the powerful force coming from within that quite often gets you the desired without you even trying.
It comes naturally from within you and it’s unconditional. It’s what they call a strong presence. Or queen energy. Or big dick energy. Choose yours. 🙂
And seemingly, the outer confidence should be bigger because that’s the one everyone sees, but that’s not the case.
Why?
Just imagine that the iceberg has to travel somewhere now (like you toward your goals and dreams), and each part of the iceberg is trying to drive the whole thing. Which part do you think will do a better job?
Now, there is nothing wrong with learning tricks to level up your confidence game.
We still want that top of the iceberg to be there!
I’m in no way denying the benefits of body language analysis or public speaking skills or any other popular confidence boosting activities. Those are very useful!
In fact, if you are trying to perform in front of an audience, I highly recommend doing some proper training first.
But before you get to them, I suggest working on a deeper level.
Inner confidence brings calmness and makes you not worry about your next word or step. It lets you relax and be your true self instead of putting loads of energy into pretending (well, you still might have to do that sometimes but it’s better than masking your anxiety and nervousness every single moment).
But most importantly, it makes you feel like you are enough exactly the way you are, forever and ever.
So what are the ways to increase confidence?
Let’s jump right into it!
🏁 Confidence boosting activities: PREP (crucial!!)
In this first preparation step, we’re going to facilitate the whole process by figuring out a couple of things.
Firstly, you have to know this: Inner confidence is all about knowing yourself and trusting yourself.
And here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. WHERE EXACTLY DOES YOUR LACK OF CONFIDENCE COME FROM?
Try to deduct what kind of thoughts, emotions, or situations brings you the most discomfort.
Think of past experiences or traumas. It will let you know what areas need some love first. Gotta know your triggers!
HOW TO: Over one week, try to take notes every time you feel self-doubtful. Write down what is happening and how you are feeling. Most likely, by the end of the week, you’ll be able to track some patterns.
2. WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
It’s important to know what you ultimately want in life because that knowledge will stop FOMO or other people’s opinions from distracting you. It will keep you focused and will serve as an exciting reminder of where you’re headed.
HOW TO: Describe your dream self in five years. Who do you want to be? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do? Who do you want to have next to you? This is your higher self.
3. WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN MOVE THE MOUNTAINS?
Identify what brings you confidence. Those are the things you might want to focus on on this journey specifically.
HOW TO: Over tone week, take notes every time you are feeling empowered. Again, write down what is happening and how you are feeling, and you’ll see some patterns by the end of the week.
These articles might be helpful if you are trying to dig deeper and know yourself deeply, which is significant to develop inner confidence:
How To Find Yourself When You Are Lost: Top-9 Tips
Weird But Effective Self Discovery Exercise (For Creatives And All)
I know you might be thinking: Meh, I’ll do it some other time, give me the actual steps…
I insist. 🙂 Don’t skip this! It’s crucial to know your background to make this as effective as possible.
The best way to work through these questions is to write your answers down in your journal.
By the way, I have some other great journaling prompts that you might find helpful, here they are:
5 Advanced Journaling Prompts for Healing (+ Free Printable!)
This Detailed Self Love Journal Challenge Is Totally Amazing (2022)
41 Amazing Journaling Prompts Any Creative Should Try Right Now
Also, it’s worth noting that being confident doesn’t mean entertaining everyone around you, or being louder than everyone else.
Being confident is knowing and doing what truly is the best for you.
And if it’s a public event, it’s either talking to someone new every two minutes, hanging out with just one person all night, or leaving whenever you feel like it, and not feeling obliged to explain your choices to anyone.
Now it’s time to jump into some actual self confidence boosting activities!
RELATED POST: Why You Hate Socializing (And What To Do About It)
👍🏼 Confidence boosting activities: ACTION
🙇🏻♀️ Commit to your growth journey
Switch from “Why is this happening to me?” to “This is happening for me to learn and to grow from it”.
See everything as an opportunity for your growth.
At first, it might feel forced and uncomfortable. However, with time you’ll be doing it effortlessly, almost automatically, and that’s when your real inner confidence will start kicking in.
It’s not a mistake that I put this as the first step. This way of thinking is very empowering and feels really good too.
HOW TO: Pause for a moment and ask yourself, What can I learn from this to grow and evolve? And what would my higher self do? Do this every time things don’t go as planned, or you have to do something that you are not excited about. If you have trouble finding an answer, go back to our Prep stage, and revise question number two.
🌄 Develop a solid morning routine
I can’t emphasize enough how important a morning routine is!!
Getting up early and having that hour or two only to yourself, before the world wakes up and you dive into work, emails, texts, and meetings…
This habit literally transforms your whole life over time. (I went a loooong way from waking up late and grabbing my phone right away to scroll on Instagram, to having a solid early morning routine that makes me feel amazing so this one is truly life-changing!!)
HOW TO: Very (very) slowly start getting up earlier every day. Try a very short morning routine (for example, a glass of water and a short meditation), and work your way up from that (again, very slowly). Before adding things, make sure you will confidently stick with your new routine. If you already have a morning routine, but it doesn’t make you feel really good, check out these posts to peek at some ideas:
Daily Spiritual Routine: How to Develop and What to Include
How To Get Out of a Slump: Best Reset Routine
🏃🏾♂️ Take care of your physical body
Nothing brings more inner confidence than feeling good in your body.
Move your body in a way that feels great, eat delicious nourishing meals, develop your perfect hair and skin care routine. Include whatever else makes you look good and feel good about yourself. It really doesn’t take much!
HOW TO: Choose your workout based on what you like better, or what you’d like to work on more, for example, yoga for spirituality, dancing for expression, weight lifting for tapping into masculine energy, etc. Reduce your animal product consumption and introduce more greens, veggies, legumes, and nuts. Use organic natural hair and skin care products — but don’t overdo them, only use a couple of products every day.
RELATED POST: How to Develop Self Discipline (Without Trying Too Hard)
🦺 Create safety cushions
Now, the feeling of security is pretty important in any aspect.
It’s like if your life was a house that has all the necessary things to survive for the next decade, you’d feel pretty comfortable in that house, right?
For me personally, overall independence and feeling secure with money is key.
The last time I was in this comfortable state was when I jumped on a call with a potential new client, and I absolutely did not care what the result of the call would be. That was because I made sure I have a few loyal clients that hire me regularly.
If I’m already very content with how my things are going, then whether they become a part of my client list or not, won’t make big of a difference. (More than that, they will lose on not having me on board. 😉)
HOW TO: Save money, develop several income streams, build passive income. Have a couple of closest friends that you can always rely on. Bring a pair of extra socks when you are hiking, after all. Make sure you are secure in the most unpredictable aspects of your life.
And since we’re talking about security…
🚀 Learn about your driving force
According to Tony Robbins, there are six human needs: certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth, and contribution.
This is what’s interesting about it:
We value one of these needs more than the others, and it affects every decision we make in life. It can even affect our confidence. If your top need is certainty, you may feel unsure in unfamiliar situations. If your top need is significance, you’ll start feeling insecure if you don’t get the recognition you need.
Tony Robbins
It’s helpful to learn what your top need is, and get some advice on how to work around it.
HOW TO: I recommend taking the test What is your driving force? by Tony Robbins.
💕 Work on your self love
My daily self love habits are what keeps me sane, just like a good morning routine.
There are so so so many ways you can express love toward yourself, and it solely depends on what makes you feel good and what your personal love language is.
Start with processing your fears, jealousy, and other emotions that make you feel sad or angry. Learn to catch and block your self-limiting beliefs once they come up in your head. Talk yourself out of negative self-talk. Counter negative thoughts with positive ones. Tame those inner critics!
Do some self-reflection journaling. Repeat some powerful affirmations every day. Get a creative hobby. Make your living space beautiful and cozy. Find time to sit down with your own thoughts. Take ten minutes for meditation.
These are just some of the ways to express self love (a drop in the ocean, to be honest).
HOW TO: Over one week, analyze what kind of activities brings you peace, joy, and happiness. Try to then implement them in your daily morning or evening routines.
Here are some more ideas:
33 Best Self-Love Tips For Highly Sensitive Person
Spiritual Practices for Self Love (Beginner-Friendly)
Revealed: Self Discipline is Self Love
😬 Do uncomfortable things
Another great but challenging method that I love is getting out of your comfort zone.
Oh how good it feels when you push your limits, try something new and scary, and win!
And if you don’t, you still feel good because you know that you just tried something that you’d never done… And as they say in my home country, the first pancake is always a mess!
It’s also great to get vulnerable with your dearest people. It’s always a bit nerve wracking but creates so much bond and intimacy.
HOW TO: Learn more about yourself, and then accept and embrace all you’ve learned — all the strengths and flaws you hold. That will will make you feel comfortable in your skin. After that — get vulnerable. Open up. Get grounded. And whenever you want to do something but feel scared — jump on it! Don’t let your mind dissuade yourself and lose an opportunity.
👯 Surround yourself with positive people
Don’t put any effort into shallow friendships. Only cherish true deep connections. Eliminate (or reduce) any interactions with toxic people in your life.
Look for kind, compassionate, positive people who encourage and motivate you, celebrate your wins with you and lift you up.
If you don’t have any friends like that yet, it’s totally fine. I heard of so many people who thought they had dozens of friends and realized eventually that only one or two of them were the real ones.
And don’t forget that firstly, you yourself have to become that person. Once you do, you won’t have to be looking for friends. They’ll just appear in your life when you least expect.
HOW TO: Work on yourself to become a kind, compassionate person. You can also try joining interest clubs in your city, like a yoga or a pottery studio. Choose the interest that is closest to your heart and follow it.
This post was all about confidence boosting activities that help you find it within.
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