How To Find Yourself When You Are Lost: Top-9 Tips

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Want to know how to find yourself when you are lost? These nine tips are actually what helped me a lot when I was going through the same.

The feeling of losing yourself sucks.

And it has nothing to do with not knowing where you physically are.

It’s like losing yourself mentally. It’s like living in someone else’s body. You are just not excited to wake up in the morning. And you keep doing all those things you do every day. But there is no purpose behind it anymore.

In this post I’m sharing some possible reasons for losing yourself, what does losing yourself feel like, how long does it take to find yourself again, and most importantly — how to find yourself when you are lost.

If you are missing yourself then this post is for you.

This post is all about how to find yourself when you are lost.

😌 What is your true self?

Your true self is the most honest version of yourself. It is who you are deep down.

It knows exactly what it wants and needs. There is no such thing as people’s opinions and judgment for the true self.

But sometimes our connection with our true selves is lost.

So you might be wondering…

😰 What does losing yourself feel like?

It’s one of those things: when someone tells you about it you can’t really comprehend what exactly it means. But when it happens to you, you immediately know for sure: this is it.

Losing yourself feels like…

• Nothing is exciting or interesting anymore. Even things that you have always loved.
• Motivation is at zero and you are feeling hopeless. You keep running your (loved) business on autopilot but you don’t know what for and why. It feels like it’s not going anywhere.
• You are constantly deeply sad. You can escape and distract yourself but it’s there all the time and you feel it.
• You are excessively emotional and irritable. Like any little thing can make you blow up or cry.
• You don’t feel like seeing anyone or talking to anyone. In case you have to, you show no enthusiasm.

These are the signs you are losing yourself but please note that these can also be signs of depression. If you feel like you need help, seek it immediately.

Now, if you are experiencing all the above it’s time to move on to the actual topic and figure out how to find yourself when you are lost.

😶 Why I don’t know who I am anymore?

This may happen for several reasons.

Here are some possible reasons…

• You went through a deeply hurtful experience and it disoriented you (depression, breakup, self-identification crisis, etc).
• You got stuck in a so-called groundhog day — every day is just the same as yesterday (and let’s be honest, it’s boring).
• You are having a lot of negative self-talk caused by old trauma (or excessively stressful environment).
• You don’t know what your purpose actually is, or you are dissatisfied with how things are with your business or career.
• Your goals don’t serve you anymore, but you either didn’t realize it yet or just don’t want to admit it (more about it later on in this post).

RELATED POST: How To Tame Your Inner Critic: Meet Them First

🤔 Will I ever be myself again?

YES, absolutely.

You just need some quality time with yourself, time in general, and some deep inner work. View it as a mental retreat.

⏰ How long does it take to find yourself again?

This part really depends on the situation.

It depends on how strong-minded you are, how much time you have for yourself, how intense your schedule is, how much stress you have, and the severity of your case. And that’s probably not even just that.

So I would just trust the process, believe in myself, and not push it.

Pressure doesn’t help at all. It’s a very personal journey, and there is no schedule, timing, or competition. Take your time and embrace your own pace, even if it’s not as fast as you would like it to be.

👉🏼 So how do I become myself again?

There is a variety of things you could try.

Let’s dive into the list of my best techniques on how to find yourself when you are lost. Try to notice what approaches your body is responding to deep down.

❗️ THIS IS how to find yourself when you are lost…

▪️ If you have a chance, go for a long walk through the places where you’ve enjoyed yourself earlier in life

This will remind you of things that used to make you happy.

And don’t get me wrong. Those things might not necessarily be your cup of tea anymore. And that’s absolutely OK because we change all the time, day by day. It actually might be great news that you don’t enjoy them as much, meaning that you are moving forward, learning, and figuring life out.

What it does is that it shows you how far you’ve come, and how significant and valuable your past is. Because it made you who you are, and you’ve been doing your best.

It might also remind you of people you would like to reach out and say hi to after a long time. Or maybe, you’ll realize how right you were to have cut them off at some point earlier.

I go for long walks ALL the time when I want my mind clear. I just play either music or some podcast (it’s pretty hard in NYC though cause it’s SO loud) and walk without any destination wherever my feet take me. Sometimes I don’t listen to anything — just the city sounds.

I always feel refreshed and super calm when I come back.

Overall, it’s just a great way to self-reflect.

▪️ Get back to your old hobbies and things you love doing, or try something new

Try to make it different from what you do for a living.

For example, if your favorite thing has always been photography and that’s exactly what your career is about, try to recall something else. Maybe something you’d always be doing as a kid? Try to break the cycle of the monotony of your everyday life — it will give your mind a little shakeup.

Or go and try something completely new!

Like, take a course on reiki or mind mapping. There are SO many awesome things in this world that you haven’t tried yet! And you’ll be trying those while learning more about yourself and meeting new people. Isn’t that cool?

For example, I have quite a few things that I turn to when I want some time by myself. It includes tarot and crystals, serial killer stories, coloring, learning French, hiking, taking courses on writing or productivity, and sometimes even video games.

As you can see, it’s very diverse and it lets me choose depending on my mood. That’s a little life hack right there. You’re welcome 😉

▪️ Bring back your little routines

If you are lost you probably have no desire to keep maintaining your everyday routines. And that’s totally understandable — who cares about yoga sessions or weekly achievements reviews, if you don’t even understand who you are.

But hear me out: those little things are actually not letting your true self get lost completely. There was a motivation behind you starting a habit of yoga sessions and weekly reviews, right? It can be even as little as listening to jazz while doing things around the house (that’s what I personally do) — whatever makes you YOU.

Write down all the reasons you’ve been doing it. Keep taking care of your body and physical health, and do as much as possible for your mental well-being.

▪️ Get quiet and listen (mostly, to your own mind and body)

Stop fussing, and try to practice being aware of your thoughts and sensations. Calm your thoughts down — meditation is the best way of doing it — and try to listen to your body.

Our bodies know best what we need. Whenever something is about to happen, or you get an invitation, or you meet a new person, listen to your body — it will always tell if something is right or wrong.

You can call it intuition or whatever, but it helps so much when you are connected with your body. You are basically getting all the right answers with no effort. It’s like cheating on an exam.

For example, I already know that I’m deeply connected with my body. It might sound funny but I usually get all the unexpected answers while in the shower. I’ve read that it’s because water is a conductor of energy, and thoughts are energy too. Fascinating.

There is also a very surprising exercise that you can try. All you need is your imagination. You can find it here: Weird But Effective Self-Discovery Exercise (For Creatives And All)

▪️ Start writing a journal

This one is major. I always talk about journaling in all my posts because it’s so helpful.

Try this exercise: write down a list of things that represent you right now in this moment.

For example:

• A creative entrepreneur
• A girlfriend/boyfriend
• A guitar player
• A loner
• A whiner?
• A manipulator?
• A pessimist?

Write both good and bad, as many as you can come up with. Acknowledge that you are ALL of these things at the same time. You are not just an artist. You are not just an entrepreneur. You are so many things, and if one of them disappears, it’s still you.

Usually, at this step, you can already tell what your “stoppers” are.

If you’d like to try some other great journaling prompts, check out my other earlier posts on that:

An Extremely Helpful Detailed Self Love Journal Challenge (2022)
41 Amazing Journaling Prompts Any Creative Should Try Right Now

Also if you are looking for a nice notebook to make it a journal, this is my favorite one ever.

▪️ Get out of your comfort zone (and do it regularly)

Now, this is a true shakeup!

Doing something that you really really want to do, but are terrified of just thinking about it — that’s where the growth is. That’s how your personality evolves. And it feels SO good afterward!

If you are not used to doing this, try to find someone who would join you. When it’s not just you but also someone else, you are kind of like a little team. And it’s not that scary.

▪️ Give up old, outdated goals

Here’s a little trick here.

You might be thinking that you are lost but you actually just don’t want to admit that you don’t want what you wanted before. Which is totally fine because you are not what you were before.

Your perspectives changed, and your old goals are not that attractive to you anymore. And it’s FINE.

Again, journal about it. Find the courage to ask yourself, what goals don’t serve you anymore? Give yourself an opportunity to change when needed. Give yourself a chance to choose a new goal. Sticking with what is not working will not bring you anywhere.

And no, it is not betraying yourself or being irresponsible. It is quite the opposite.

After you did, move on to this next step…

▪️ Work on developing the right mindsets

The best major mindsets that will bring you peace, happiness, and success are abundance mindset, positive mindset, and growth mindset.

These are all SO incredible and life-changing. If you want to learn more about it, check out the other posts on my website, and you’ll find a ton of information. There are also a lot of books, courses, and YouTube videos about it.

▪️ Ask for help

If nothing else works — this would be a good idea, and it actually WILL make your life much easier.

And I’m not only talking about professional help but also your loved ones, and… YouTubers. I’m serious. Whenever I have something deep concerning me, I go to my boyfriend, my best friends, my family, or YouTubers. There are so many talented people out there sharing their knowledge and experience that it would be unwise to not use it.

(And I really hope this post helped you learn some tricks on how to find yourself when you are lost.)

But don’t just do whatever someone tells you. Listen, process, and do your own thing based on what you learned. You always know better what’s best for you.

And obviously, coaching and therapy can be really beneficial even if you have no issues and just want to try it as a self-improvement tool.

I do therapy here and there because it really helps me understand myself better.

This post was all about how to find yourself when you are lost.