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Are you scolding yourself for binge-watching that silly reality show because it feels like wasting precious time? Well, you shouldn’t because there are a lot of life lessons to learn from it!
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
I believe that anything, ABSOLUTELY anything can hold a lesson within itself. A call for positive change.
Even those trashy reality shows where all that people do seem to be just fighting and scheming against each other?
YES, even those.
Actually, especially those since they are a little mini-copy of our life — and life teaches us lessons every day.
I decided to benefit from watching it as much as I can so I analyzed each situation I witnessed after a couple of weeks in, and here they are — good life lessons to learn and start using right now to live a more meaningful and happier life.
Let’s dive right in!
This post is all about life lessons to learn from a trashy reality show.
🧐 Why I decided to watch a trashy reality show
A couple of weeks ago I Facetimed my best friend to catch up. (My best friends are back in my home country.)
We hadn’t talked for a while so we hung on the phone for about four hours straight… And the last hour was just us reminiscing about our university years, and specifically how we would watch this one reality show and chat about it every day in class.
The show is about a group of people — five guys and five girls who come to a beautiful villa in Mexico where they are going to live together and build relationships. Every week they would form couples, and one of the contestants would be kicked out. Every week a new person would also join them in the villa.
It was a Russian show that was called Holidays in Mexico.
And so our conversation reminded me of how much fun it was to go over each person or couple and examine their relationships, behaviors, characters, and personalities… And then — BOOM! — I found myself playing the first episode and diving into the world of romance, intrigues, fights, and scheming.
At first, I just gave into my desire to re-live those memories.
After that, I started feeling a little guilty spending my time doing it… Knowing that I could have spent it in a much more productive way.
That’s when I always try to cheat.
That‘s when I always try to find a way to make it useful (to keep doing it with no guilt hehe).
And I just decided to write down all the thoughts that would come to me since I was already thinking, thinking, thinking about all the situations happening on the screen and inspecting them very thoroughly.
I would ask myself questions, again and again, to figure out what’s happening:
Why did this or that situation happen? (Fight, argument, friendship, betrayal, sympathy or antipathy of someone towards someone, etc)
Why this person has a lot of friends, and this one doesn’t?
How is this person different from another?
What role self-love plays when it comes to socializing and being around people? (Spoiler: HUGE)
Who has high self-esteem, and who has low self-esteem if you look at their behavior?
How to achieve your goals in an honorable way, while remaining humane?
Why did these two people choose each other to be together (and not someone else)?
All these and hundreds more questions would go through my head every time I was watching an episode… bringing a lot of food for thought each time.
And that’s when I realized how many life lessons to learn there are in this show.
It looks like a pretty worthy guilty pleasure, don’t you think?
🍿 How to enjoy your guilty pleasure & benefit from it
Any time I want to do something really bad and I know at the same time that it’s not necessarily the best thing I can be doing at the moment, I try to find how I can use it for my current Priority List.
My Priority List at the moment was:
- My work / my purpose
- My personal development
- My relationships
- My joy of life
Without thinking thoroughly, I can already check out at least three points in this list.
I like benefitting from everything including the stuff that looks like it has no point and is just a waste of time.
It’s actually especially satisfying to find good use of something that is viewed as worthless but brings some kind of pleasure.
Like I said before, a reality show is a mini portrait of real life.
It’s just that everything is happening so much faster there. It’s like a jar of “life preserves”.
I believe it’s kind of like going to a summer camp — it’s a little life packed into a couple of weeks that feels like a couple of months.
By the way, by no means I’m saying that one should be watching this kind of thing all the time.
I watch things like that probably once in a few years.
I find it a healthy ratio, and I get bored of it eventually anyway.
It’s good in little amounts.
Just like anything else, as a matter of fact.
📝 Life lessons to learn from a trashy reality show
These are not very hard life lessons to learn… but they are deep and vital for maintaining dignified relationships and own well-being.
1. Even the most reasonable and proper person can start acting weird if they were hurt.
SITUATION: You are spending two months at the villa where everyone is trying to build a love relationship. Days are passing by, but throughout the whole time you never meet anyone you’d want to be romantically involved with, so your frustration grows from watching people meet each other, fall in love, flirt, and go on romantic dates while nothing at all is happening for you… Would you stay positive, calm, and friendly the whole time? Or would your frustration show by the end of those two months?
It’s funny how I used to always think: Okay this person has the most common sense, they are not going to do this or that… And then when they do something completely unexpected, it would kind of disappoint me.
What happens next? I learn the reason why they acted like that, and I feel ashamed for condemning them too quickly.
I’m glad I was reminded one more time that I shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions too fast, and definitely shouldn’t be judging anyone.
We are never fully aware of what’s in someone’s head.
Usually, we put ourselves together and go out there trying to be who we want to be.
But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to accomplish that due to emotional distress.
When we are deeply hurt, we get overwhelmed and lose clarity. That’s why we do things we would normally never do, and we usually feel some type of way about it afterward.
TIP: Don’t judge too soon. Don’t judge too harsh. Act fair but find out what is going on first. Always look at both sides’ opinions because they may differ very much.
Everyone is different, and everyone is going through something. You never know how this or that situation is affecting the person.
2. Sometimes we might have to make a choice between friendships and common sense.
SITUATION: You have the privilege to choose one person who is going to get the money prize. You have to choose between your best friend and someone who needs the money more than your friend. Who would you choose?
I think there is no right answer, it’s a personal choice. You just have to decide what’s yours.
And remember, no matter who you are going to choose, people are going to judge you.
You chose your friend — you have no heart.
You chose the person in need — you are not a true friend.
Another situation might be your friend getting in a fight and actually being wrong. Would you support and protect them or go against them?
Yes, a man is known by the company he keeps, the only issue here is that we cannot always be responsible for our friends’ actions.
We don’t always have the same opinions as our friends — and it’s absolutely OK.
Questions of this type might be raised in a situation where you have to act fast, and you might not have enough time to think about your decision. Therefore, some hasty decisions might be made, that you are going to regret later.
So this is a good question to ask yourself and think it over so that if the time comes, you are prepared.
TIP: If possible, support your friend in public, but give them your honest opinion privately. At the end of the day, a real friend would trust you and would not question your decisions, so do whatever your heart tells you.
3. If you are not scared to be different, people will remember you more than everyone else. You might be rejected at first though.
SITUATION: Some people seem to always be a little bit apart from the crowd and they never follow it. It seems like they have their own way of doing things — either it’s communicating, working, portraying themselves, etc — which no one can understand. Eventually, they might find common ground with the rest and win their respect if they act right. How do you see these people?
What’s interesting, “weird” people are always rejected at the beginning.
People don’t understand them, and everything that’s incomprehensible usually causes aggression.
(I always recall that story that I learned from criminal history about the guy who first suggested using fingerprints to identify a person. They thought he was crazy.)
People try to test them, provoke them, ignore them, scheme against them — whatever it takes to see their reactions in an attempt to understand them better.
If the “weird” person doesn’t submit to the crowd, stays their real self, follows their own heart, and shows the crowd that they are not scared to stay themselves, they win the crowd’s respect.
Why do they?
Because it takes courage to go against a group of people, and everyone knows it.
It’s almost always accompanied by a bonus of eventually being seen as the most outstanding person in the crowd.
This is one of the most important life lessons to learn from this list.
TIP: Do not ever be scared to show your real self, even if someone might think you are weird. You’d rather be your bright weird self than lock yourself up in an image that someone likes better. The “rejection stage” will pass and you’ll be grateful you stood your ground. You might become the brightest person in the crowd.
These were some simple life lessons that I’ve been thinking a lot while watching that trashy reality show…
But I have a couple more:
4. Set your priorities right when it comes to socializing and making friends.
SITUATION: You met someone and didn’t properly figure out if you can trust them or not, and they were very pushy. You didn’t listen to your gut feeling and overshared. Now you are dealing with everyone around you knowing about your private life.
TIP: Set clear boundaries with everyone, communicate friendly but cautiously with everyone, and only get close with the ones you are confident in.
5. Prioritize your self-care.
SITUATION: You are going through a tough heartbreak. You are emotionally exhausted, you lay in bed all day and you dumped all your daily routines because you don’t feel like doing anything. How much of a difference do you think your self-care makes when it comes to how you feel?
TIP: Don’t ever stop taking care of yourself, even if it’s a few simple things. It’s something that keeps you grounded and helps stay connected with your true self. Every little routine you have is there for a reason. Never underestimate its role.
6. Use your creativity and be resourceful to make your life more exciting.
SITUATION: We don’t even have to visualize this one after going through a pandemic… Anyways, imagine being locked up in a house with your friends and not being able to leave. You don’t have any tech, no Internet, no books. All you have is your friends and your imagination to make this “stay” eventful or boring.
TIP: Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, try to use anything you have around you. At any point in our lives, we always have everything we need. We just sometimes don’t notice it. The gist of being resourceful is to get creative with everything you already have, and the rest will come.
RELATED POST: Weird But Effective Self Discovery Exercise (For Creatives And All)
7. The most aggressive people are usually the most thin-skinned and sensitive.
SITUATION: You meet a very tall, muscular guy who doesn’t talk a lot, gets angry easily, and seems to be trying to demonstrate his power. Would you think he’s actually dominant and aggressive, or rather it’s a defensive mechanism?
TIP: In the majority of cases, this guy would be extremely sensitive, and yes, it is a defensive mechanism. Try to talk to him in a nice way, show him you are just being curious and friendly. You might end up getting a very kind, loyal and gentle friend.
8. If someone CLEARLY doesn’t want you, stop chasing them — you are disrespecting yourself.
SITUATION: You met someone, and you are clearly into them. You can tell that they are NOT into you (whatsoever). They either told you about it, or they told someone else, or they used you and then cut you off after that. Yet you are trying to win their attention by calling them, inviting them on dates, messaging on social media, trying to show up at the events or in the places where they are invited… Are you sure you want to be doing that?
TIP: This is not about a guy chasing a girl as a flirty game, courting her and showering her with flowers to convince her to go out with him. It’s about a situation when someone is openly rejecting you, or even belittling you. Stop it then and there. Forget about that person and move on with your life. Do not disrespect yourself, especially in your own eyes — it will take a toll on your self-esteem, and that’s when you are going to be in real trouble.
9. Don’t suppress your emotions, but know when to stop.
SITUATION: You are having an argument with a family member, and they are clearly being unfair. You are trying to explain it to them but they keep pushing it. The argument is turning into a fight. Would you try to undermine it or keep arguing until you lose your temper and say things that you’re going to regret?
TIP: Let your emotions out moderately so that they don’t build up and the other person knows how you feel, but always know when to step back. If you feel like it’s getting overwhelming, take twenty minutes to cool down and then continue the conversation. It’s worth it to act wiser and let the heat of the moment fade away. Don’t let the other person provoke you — next thing you know, you are fist fighting.
This post was all about life lessons to learn from a trashy reality show.
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