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I wrote this recently when I was facing some struggles and couldn’t find a way to comfort myself. It seemed to help. Here’s my message for someone going through a hard time.
You are probably here because you are surviving some tough times at the moment… Or your loved one is.
I know how hard it can be sometimes to find the right words of support, no matter if it’s your friend or yourself.
I put together this note for anyone who is looking for support. Keep your mind open while reading this and I hope it will bring you some peace and will help you embrace your journey.
I’m also sharing some examples of what to say (and what not to say) to someone who is going through a difficult time.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional. This is just what works for me. If you are struggling, I highly recommend seeking professional help.
This post is a message for someone going through a hard time.
💌 Message for someone going through a hard time
Any time I am going through hardship I try to remind myself…
Self-worth comes from doing hard things.
This is the first and most important thing to remember at all times. Self-worth, self-value, and self-love come naturally from doing hard things.
Whatever it is that we are going through at the moment — failure, betrayal, period of uncertainty or instability, loss, or something else — is really difficult to handle and is painful.
However, we should remember that we are going to bring ourselves back up. We got this. Sooner or later, this will be over.
It might feel like it’s going to hurt forever but trust me, it’s not. Try to recall a time when you were younger and you experienced something emotionally intense and it felt like the end of the world, and now it’s just a memory. You most likely learned a lot about yourself and how this world operates during those times. As humans, we have to go through things like this in order to evolve.
So when we do, we get stronger. We get first-hand experience. We learn how to deal with hard things.
And with that, comes self-worth.
If you are close to giving up, hold on a minute… And repeat the following affirmations with me, or simply meditate on them.
If I can do hard things, I know what value I bring to anything I get involved in.
If I can do hard things, there are fewer things in this world that can break me or stop me.
If I can do hard things, everything in life becomes a little easier for me.
But right now, I want to validate my feelings and emotions.
I know that they are messengers for me to know where to direct my attention.
I am also acknowledging that it’s okay to go through things and it’s okay to go through them on my own if I have to.
It is my responsibility to not give up and to help myself through it.
I am not bothered by it, quite the opposite: it’s amazing that it’s my responsibility because I can decide exactly what I want to do with it.
I can decide how to process it, who to go to for help, how to talk myself through it, and how to recover.
No one can tell me what to do. I’m the main character.
I am choosing to learn how to give myself all I need.
I am choosing to experience all the feelings and let them flow freely.
I am choosing to process my emotions and not hold them back.
I am choosing to open up with myself and let myself be sad, cry, grieve, and rest if I need to.
I’m not saying I should always be by myself and not ever ask others for help, because that would be pretty wrong… But I am choosing to learn how to do it on my own first. Just in case I find myself in a situation where I have no one by my side.
Then, when I am ready, I am choosing to reach out to my loved ones for support.
I feel that I am getting stronger and am building my resilience right now.
The harder it is right now, the stronger I am going to come out of it.
I cherish the ability of my mind and body to carry me safely through any harsh stage.
My love for myself is growing every moment.
I will get through anything because I have me.
It’s great to repeat these affirmations and sit quietly with them whenever you want to heal and build inner strength.
Write them down in your journal, or print them and hang them on the wall by your bed or desk so that you can see them often.
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👎🏻 What to say to someone who is going through a difficult time
“I want to make it easier for you right now. How can I support you?”
“I am really glad you are sharing this with me.”
“I am here to talk or to just be silent anytime you need me.”
“It’s okay to feel the way you do, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. Just know that I care and want to be there for you.”
“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, we can just sit together. I don’t want you to go through this alone.”
“I hate that you have to go through this. But I know that you’ve got this.”
“I am so proud of you.”
“It may seem that this is going to last forever, but remember that good things are ahead.”
“Take as much time as you need to process and heal. I’ll be by your side in case you need me.”
“You will come out stronger than ever once this is over.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone. Anything you need, I will be here for you in any way I can.”
“I know you may not feel like seeing anyone right now, but I am just one text or call away.”
“It’s okay to take time for yourself. You are already doing so much, how about you dedicate some time to self-care now?”
“It sucks that it’s happening, I can understand how frustrating it might feel.”
“Your happiness and well-being matter a lot to me. I am willing to help in any way I can.”
“This pain is hard but it will fade away. Let yourself process things. I am here for you any time you want to talk.”
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👎🏼 What not to say to someone going through a hard time
“I can’t even imagine how it feels.”
This can isolate them and make them feel alone. Try this instead: “I understand how this can be hurtful. How can I support you?”
“I know how you feel.”
You cannot possibly know how they feel even if you went through a similar thing. We are all different. Try this instead: “I can imagine how hard this can be. I am here by your side to talk anytime you need me.”
“Time heals.”
First of all, this is not particularly true. Secondly, someone who is going through a difficult time and just shared it with you is likely not ready to move on. Try this instead: “I understand how it can hurt a lot. I am by your side in case you want to share more.”
“It could be so much worse.”
This just invalidates their feelings and makes them feel unseen. Try this instead: “I wish I could take away your pain. How can I make your life easier right now?”
“There is so much more out there.”
While this might be true, it wouldn’t support someone who’s grieving at the moment. Try this instead: “You are so strong. I know that because I know you will get through this.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
I understand the intention behind this but it might make the person feel worse. They most likely thought it was meant to be and wanted it that way. Try this instead: “I know you will get through this and the best days are ahead. As for now, how can I support you?”
This post was a message for someone going through a hard time.
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