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It’s a pretty bitter experience when someone makes fun of you for your art… Here’s what we need to remember.
“Another artist. Whatever she’s doing doesn’t even look like real art. She should stop and not embarrass herself.”
What would you think if you heard someone say that? Or maybe it hit home for you?
It might seem like a harmless statement. However, it is woven of invisible but incredibly strong threads of fear…
This post is all about things to remember when someone makes fun of you… for your art.
🐥 Our wounded creativity comes from childhood
…It’s a fear to get vulnerable, to show your flawed inner world, to be judged or rejected.
Fear that someone was unable to overcome because no one taught them how. So they handed it down… like a precious parcel… with the sole purpose — to protect their loved ones.
Does it protect? In some way. Does it also clip your wings? Without a doubt.
When I was younger, I often heard people say those things.
This wounded idea that you are only allowed to create if you were born a genius was pretty common in my culture. And even then every piece that comes from under your pen or brush has to be a masterpiece, otherwise your creative abilities will be called into question.
It’s uncomfortable to admit that as a kid, I took over this thinking pattern. I felt pressured to conform to others’ expectations.
For years, I only created things that I knew would receive approval from others, and anything that didn’t meet that standard was hidden away…
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🗯️ What people say out of fear
Here are some other things that I would hear and would even believe in at some point:
If you’re not published, if you’ve written just one book or just one great book — you’re not a real writer.
If you never sold any of your paintings, if you’re not painting full time, if you haven’t painted for a year — you’re not a real artist.
If you haven’t suffered enough in your life — your art cannot be great.
But who writes all these rules? Who decides what’s a great book and who’s a real writer? And what’s the definition of a real writer anyway?
All these absurd constraints that we put on ourselves that the things we create have to be outstanding, and also we should be suffering greatly while creating them because that’s how the “real art” is being made… Come on.
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😊 Authentic emotion is the key
Do you know why suffering helps creativity? Because suffering is emotion.
Emotion is what connects us to the very core of our being, and pulls out all the hidden vulnerable things that make our creations so touching and relatable.
But so does love, or hope… or amazement and joy… An emotion of any kind is a messenger. A source of information.
I loved how Jack Grapes put it in one of his interviews. He said…
“There is a deep voice in every creator. A deep voice means you’re not entertaining anymore, it comes from what you’re feeling. You’re connected to an emotion. When you’re feeling something authentically, you’re in your true place. Actors and writers, for example, can find a memory that would help them imitate that.”
That is how magic is made.
I know at least one more writer who found that memory of a strong emotion is capable of magic… if you know who I’m talking about.
By the way, here’s Jack Grapes’s book that is #1 on my TBR list:
What I’m trying to point out here is that… if you enjoy creating and it comes from your true feelings — it doesn’t matter how conventionally good it is.
If your art doesn’t harm anyone and helps at least one person — you — that’s all that counts.
When you don’t entertain and keep speaking from your heart — your people find you. Sooner or later.
We need each other’s art for many reasons. Often we’re just looking in all the wrong places.
If your wings have been clipped long ago (like mine in a way), there’s no better time than now… to heal and grow a new shiny pair.
Reclaim your freedom. Don’t let someone’s fears draw a map for your flight. Don’t let someone’s fear dictate your rules.
There’s an opinion that humans exist on this earth to be creative. Our brain is most active when we’re generating and producing something using our creative power.
That’s why output work is very very important. The data we consume is necessary but what we create and bring into the world is what drives our being.
That’s one reason to go and publish that poem, finish that painting, or write that song.
The more we create, the more we can create.
🌧️ A person who always makes fun of others is called…
A wounded person. A scared person. A person who hasn’t gotten the love they needed… when they needed it most.
A person who was never taught how to manage their emotions. Who isn’t able to find comfort within themselves, and has no one to come to.
We only comprehend this later on, when “the damage was done”… But that person is often not bad. Just unhappy.
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🧘🏼 What to say when someone makes fun of you?
There’s plenty of professional advice out there. So I’ll share my personal perspective.
So what to do when someone makes fun of you and your art?
Ignore and keep working. You don’t have time to waste. Don’t let some rando distract you from what really matters.
If you want to make it even more empowering, learn to send them love and wish them all the best.
It takes time to get used to the fact that what people tell about you speaks more about them (than you).
This post was all about things to remember when someone makes fun of you… and your art.
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